Life Coaching For Personal Development

A commonality that many young people share is a desire to grow up.

They look forward to experiencing life from the viewpoint of an adult who has grown beyond adolescence. Whether this involves going to school or obtaining a driver’s license, the opportunities that accompany maturity in age lead many young people to want to grow up and mature.

Most functional societies are engaged in observing how young people mature. However, in reality, the process of personal growth is forever present throughout life, even as our bodies may look the same, gradual, unnoticed maturity changes may be gestating inside of us.

In an ideal society, it would not only be children who go to school. Adults, in general, would also regard themselves in need of ongoing education, in improving their understanding of how best to emotionally regulate, mature in character and live culturally contributively lifestyles.

Anyone committed to the process of personal growth knows that the journey is seldom a simple one. Personal growth and progression tend only to happen when we step out the comfort zone and become engaged in the process of taking risks and experimenting with our lives.

Personal improvement can be an intricate process that we can do our best to influence, but not always fully control. Imperfection and limitation are weaved throughout every aspect of our personal and professional lives. While some people let themselves become reduced in the knowledge of this, it is smarter to simply acknowledge and proactively ‘move on’ from it instead.

This journey of personal growth is usually triggered by significant life events that stimulate us to improve ourselves, our habits and decision-making processes as we discover where our full potential lies. The outcomes of personal growth is a more satisfying and rewarding life, which eventually enhances our relationships, profession, sense of life purpose and general worldview.

The good news is that its OK to be imperfect, and all human being are un-volitionally born this way.

Consider how plants grow. For a plant to grow, several factors must be in place. A plant must first be rooted in good soil and have access to vital nutrients, time and space. Plants do not grow well under pressure or when surrounded by thistles or weeds.

Now consider how people grow. For people to grow, different factors must also be in place. A person must be grounded in self-awareness, a network of healthy relationships, and have access to wise perspectives, useful information, time and space. People do not grow well under pressure or when surrounded by negative influence.

While determining to understand other things and other peoples perspectives, we naturally become more accurately educated about ourselves and what we aspire to accomplish through our lives.

Aristotle once said that “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

Some people strive to improve themselves or improve the state of their lives by switching their relationships, their pursuits, worldviews and patterns of behaviour. When we can no longer see how best to improve the outcomes of our lives, we become faced with the prospect of evolving and transforming ourselves instead.

The prevalent factors that lead us adrift in life are procrastination, worry, indifference, self-doubt, selfishness, lust and pride. None of us knows what we don’t know, so sadly, we’re rarely (if ever) in a position to speak to our individual ignorances.

Pride tends to be the mother of our problems. Pride blinds us to our flaws and insufficiencies, and it leads us to regard ourselves disproportionately. Pride blinds us to our vulnerabilities and shuts us off to facts and useful outlooks that confront our current worldviews and perspectives – regardless of how accurate or distorted they may be.

Most of us want to be greater than we are. We all want to achieve glorious things to varying degrees and be valued for who we are instead of being discarded for who we aren’t, but no human is an island, and none of us can achieve personal excellence on our own merits.

Personal growth usually results when we learn effective strategies for succeeding our pride and overcoming our individual vulnerabilities. The battle we each have with pride and vulnerability is what usually knocks us off track. When we view our weaknesses as a deficiency, our self-esteem takes the hit. However, when we begin to see vulnerability as an excuse to cooperate with others, we suddenly grow empowered and strong.

If we hope to grow in maturity, decisiveness, consistency and strength of character, we must be aware of factors that might undermine our growth – such as disempowering mindsets, cynical worldviews, bad habits, etc. In the same way that iron sharpens iron, people sharpen people and its neither wise nor fruitful to endure association with those who aren’t also growing, developing, educating themselves and maturing in life.

In an ideal society, personal growth and improvement would attract the same attention that our age and career milestones do. Where many people celebrate the start of a new year or moving to a new home; envision how civilisation might improve if peoples newfound self-mastery, self-control, or increased maturity levels were honoured in the same way?

Stay away from those who undermine your ambitions. Most people want to be somebody; few people want to grow. Small thinking people tend to do that, but mature people will regularly inspire you to consider that you, too, can accomplish remarkable things with your life.

Those who live productive lives are usually those who organise themselves around a purpose or meaningful vocation. People can only be devoted to one primary goal in life, which will either be to make money, elevate their status or make a tangible difference in the world. Sustaining motivation for the first two options can be tricky.

The outcomes of personal growth are perseverance, self-control, kindness, authenticity, openness, maturity, flexibility, decisiveness and strength. Emotional sensitivity is not representative of these things.

“A sign of understanding and maturity is when we come to terms with the realisation that our choices cause our rewards and consequences. We are each responsible for our life, and our ultimate success depends on the decisions we make.”  – Denis Waitly

At all times, we will either be advancing in life (and taking people with us) or stagnating and possibly even going backwards. There is no such thing as remaining motionless in life. If we aren’t committed to the process of growing and developing ourselves in every area of experience, we might end up wrecking ourselves, our careers or our relationships haphazardly.

Personal growth occurs when we learn how to apply principles in our lives consistently. Many reasonably minded people direct the epicentre of their efforts towards memorising information. And this is why many people fail to make any level of positive social impact with their life.

The road to self-destruction is broad and easy to follow, which is why most people go in this direction. The path to maturity is narrow and difficult to follow, why is why most people don’t like it. When we have the opportunity to cut corners and take the easy road, maturity ‘goes straight’ and takes the narrow path, incurring the expenses as he goes.

Those who learn how to overcome their inner demons, including their procrastination, worry, indifference, self-doubt, selfishness, lust and pride become masters of themselves, and mature in the eyes of others.

Maturity isn’t based upon how intelligent, skilful or gifted we are, and it has nothing to do with our ability to win races, meet targets or get A-grades in exams. Maturity is not a comparable quality and has nothing to do with how better or worse we are than others. Maturity is about us becoming better versions of ourselves and living more responsibly today than how we were yesterday.

Personal growth leads to maturity, and maturity lives at the opposite end of the spectrum from self-centredness, anxiety, self-doubt, indecision, pride and arrogance. Maturity seldom makes people famous in current celebrity culture, and personal growth unquestionably isn’t glamourous.

As you commit to the process of growing in self-awareness and knowing who you are, may you reach a state in which restlessness ends, and you become entirely at peace within your own skin.

Make it your business to understand yourself and commit to becoming this person, for this is among the most challenging tasks in the world.

Nevertheless, it is also among the most fulfilling and rewarding. 

Wherever you are in the world, I hope these words find you well.

Francesco